Love Will Tell Us Where To Go
by sainlyinsain
Summary: Hope Gilbert has always been different. With being slightly overweight her whole life she has never felt deserving of affection, praise, or love. Things are changing though as her life takes an unexpected turn to Matt Donovan. She must battle the darkness inside of her before it overwhelms her and steals any chance of happiness she could ever have, with him or anyone. Matt D. X O.C
1. Chapter 1

Thank you for clicking on my story, I'm glad that you have decided to take a look at something I care about. You are a dear:)

I took the title from Bridget Mendler's song, so all credit there.

This story is about Hope Gilbert, a quiet book worm struggling to come to terms with who she is and the world around her.

I hope you enjoy reading her story just as much as I enjoy writing it.

I do not own Vampire Diaries.

Off to the races:)

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She stood there, staring at her phone and hoping that the words that left Jenna's mouth were a hallucination. She had just been having the time of her life with her friends, one of which she had strong feelings for, when the call came.

Hope: Jenna, to what do I owe the pleasure?

Jenna: There's been accident.

Hope: Is everyone okay? Is my uncle okay?"

Jenna: I'm so sorry, Hope, but both Grayson...and Miranda have passed away in a car accident.

It was at that point that she had to hang up. She stared at the phone in her hand before she dropped it to the floor. She pinched the bridge of her nose, a habit she had picked up by watching her uncle when she would visit during the summer.

"Hope, are you alright?" She turned to look at her best friend, Diana. She thought about telling her that her whole world was crashing down, and that two of the most important people in her life were just taken so cruelly away from her.

"I need to go home." She whispered instead. She looked past Diana to see Jon and Marcus walking towards her, goofy smiles stuck on their faces. Her heart, despite her grievous state, skipped a beat when Marcus turned that smile to her.

"Hope, what's wrong?" She shook her head and turned back to look at the lone swings of the park. It was only eight o'clock, but the night was inky and the wind was cold.

"Diana, if you don't want to have to pick me up off the ground and take me home, then I suggest we leave now." She whispered. The boys walked closer to them, their carefree attitude slipping away as they sensed the tense atmosphere.

"Hope would you just-"

"I just learned that my aunt and uncle just died, Di. Please, just take me home." She whirled on her, a begging gleam in her eye. Diana nodded and headed towards the car, shaking her head at the boys. Hope followed, her head lowered. She slipped into the passenger side without a word, her fingers digging into the underside of her thighs as she sat on them. The car ride was silent as they pulled up to her simple, one story home. She kissed Diana on the cheek and left the car without a word. She unlocked the door to see her mother's husband, Jeff, standing in the living room watching a baseball game.

"What's wrong?" She sobbed and threw herself into his arms. He wrapped her up in his fatherly embrace, the one he used every time she came crying to him, and held her close; his throat closing up at the sounds of his stepdaughter's heartbreaking cries. Those sobs were what agony sounded like.

She was in agony, she was wrecked. Her aunt and uncle were the closest ties to her father she could ever imagine. She spent every summer with them and their two children Elena and Jeremy. She was five months younger than Elena, although she was in a higher grade. Grayson Gilbert was the first fatherly figure she had ever known. He had taught her how to ride a bike, how to throw a punch, how to be confident in herself, and how to drive a car. He had been there for all the huge milestones, and they were as close as he and his own daughter were.

"Grayson and Miranda are dead." She sobbed out against his wide chest. He sighed and squeezed her, sad for her. Jeff had known Hope since she was six, when he had started to date her mother. They got married when she was nine, and had given her two half siblings. They were pretty close as far as step parents and step children go, but he knew that she held Grayson as the number one man in her life; he knew how important those two people were to her.

"Hope? Hope, baby, oh my poor baby." Her mother had just walked through the door, tears streaming down her cheeks. Jenna had called her when Hope had abruptly hung up at the park. Hope tore herself away from Jeff and clung to her mother for dear life.

Never in her sixteen years had she ever felt so torn apart.

Hope was different, you see. She was a person who strives to meet the standards set upon her, though the only person who sets those standards is herself. She felt she always fell short, although her family and friends were very proud of her. She pushed herself way too hard for people who set the bar too high for her, when she was the one who knocked it up a couple notches. She tried so hard to give affection and love because she could never find a reason to love herself.

Hope had issues with her self because she was slightly overweight; she wasn't obese, a size 12 at most. She was pretty (Hispanic on her mother's side) with deep caramel curls that hit just below her shoulders, sea glass green eyes, flawless bronze skin and a smile that was infectious. She didn't see this though. She also didn't see her kindness, her intelligence, her creativity, her compassion, her ability to make anyone laugh, or her selflessness. She saw a number on the scale. She thought herself undeserving, worthless, and a lost cause. These thoughts threw her into a depression she's been battling since her freshman year in high school.

This catastrophe has just thrown her over the edge.

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How's that for a first chapter? I hope you liked it! Please leave me reviews so I know what to work on and what you all thought was good:)

The way I envision Hope is greatly influenced by Barbara Mori and plus size model Tara Lynn, they are just so gorgeous!


	2. Chapter 2

"Jenna, when is...when's the funeral?" Hope breathed into the phone, eyes screwed shut and fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. She could not believe that she has had to utter those words. She should not be asking her aunt's sister when she would have to attend the funeral of said aunt and her husband, Hope's uncle.

"Tomorrow, but Hope you don't-"

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Give my love to Jeremy and Elena." She hung up, her breath already hitching and eyes 's only been two days. Jenna's voice over the phone mirrored her aunt's too much for her to handle. She looked up at the receptionist in her school's office and smiled softly at the sympathetic look she was given. Her mom was talking the principal into letting her take her finals early so she could go stay with Jenna and the Gilberts. Hope's mother walked out of the principal's office with papers in her hands and a small triumphant grin on her lips.

"You can take your finals today or-"

"I'll take them now." Her mother nodded and handed her the tests that would suffice as her finals. Hope took a deep breath and walked down the hall to the school's library. She sat at one of the tables and began to take the tests.

Six hours and two mechanical pencils later, she was done. She walked back to the office and handed the secretary her tests. She smiled and left, her mother following her out.

"Hope, Jeff is going to let you borrow the Explorer so you can drive to Mystic Falls." She said on the way home. Hope's head lifted from the car window, her eyes glaring hard at her mother while she drove.

"You're not going?" She asked, her voice hard and raw. Her mother shook her head, biting her lip. Hope nodded and returned to looking out the window. Her hair fell in her face, and she was grateful for the coverage it gave her and the ability to hide her tears.

"Jeff had Jenny pack your bags, so when we get home you can just look over the things you don't have so you can get on the rode." Her mother whispered, scared that if she spoke any louder that the girl sitting next to her was going to fall to pieces. She had never seen Hope so broken up, and she was scared that her daughter may never recover from this. She understood how close she had been to Miranda and Grayson, knew that they offered her a way into her father's side of the family and a better look at where she came from, and to who she could possibly become. She felt her daughter's pain and only hoped that she would be able to recover.

"I'll tell him to thank her, she's probably already at Candy's."She murmured as they pulled up to the house. Jenny was her eight year old half sister, Jeff and her mother had her two years into their relationship. Hope grabbed her over-sized black satchel and followed her mother to the door. She didn't acknowledge Jeff or her younger brother as she made her way to her room at the back of the four bedroom, two bath, ranch style home.

She sighed and leaned her head against the door after hearing it click into place. She looked up at the silvery/purple walls and let her eyes soak up the place she's called her own since she was nine. Three of the walls were bare, save for one large picture window that overlooked the backyard and nearby woods. Twinkle lights were strung over the top of it, and falling down the sides and joining the heavy, dark purple curtains framing the window. The wall her desk rested on was covered with pictures she had printed off her _Tumblr_ blog of her favorite bands, quotes, drawings, and people she admired. A dark silver wrought iron day bed rested on the far wall, nestled between the wall and her bookcase that was chock full of books ranging from fiction, to history, to philosophy, to journals she had kept through the years. On the wall opposite her picture window, a long dresser and separate vanity sat side by side.

She grabbed the large suitcase from next to her desk and flung it up on the bed, unzipping it and taking everything out. Jenny had taken all the clothes she didn't like to wear and stuffed them into a suitcase haphazardly. Hope zoomed around the room, grabbing the clothes and shoes she would need (everything her step-sister didn't pack), and neatly packed them into the suitcase on her bed. She emptied her backpack of her school things-Diana would empty her locker for her and bring her things back to the house while she was gone-and packed her laptop, her journal, jewelry, makeup, her grandmother's quilt, and her three favorite books: _Tess of the D'urbervilles__, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, _and_ Go Ask Alice.  
_

She took a deep breath as she looked around her room. She grabbed her favorite pen and stuck it in her purse. She reached underneath her bed and brought out a shoe box. She set it gingerly on the bed and opened it, grabbing the picture she kept of her mom and dad she took from he mother's chest of drawers and the small Beanie Baby dog she had since she was young. The toy flopped in her tight grasp and she brought it to her face, her cheek resting on its head while a few tears escaped her eyes.

"Are you ready to go, Hope?" Her mother called from the door. Hope stuffed the toy and picture into her purse and slid the shoe box underneath her bed. She stood up and grabbed the suitcase and backpack from the bed. She caught her own glance in the mirror and couldn't help the flash of disgust that crossed her face. She pulled her hoodie down farther and brushed off the yoga pants she wore. She tugged on the suitcase and past her mother. She stopped in the living room and swung up her younger brother in a hug. The four year old squealed as he hugged her back, kissing her cheek sloppily. She whispered in his ear to be good and she kissed his forehead, closing her eyes and committing his scent to memory. He smelled of cherries and innocence.

"Bye Jeff, and thank you for letting me borrow the Explorer." She said as she gave her step-father a one armed hug. He nodded and kissed the side of her head, then gave her his keys. She looked at her mother and kissed her cheek, muttered an "I love you" and walked out of the door. She threw her suitcase into the cherry red 2005 Explorer that Jeff had just acquired and set her backpack into the passenger seat. She started the car and with one last look, pulled out of her driveway and started her two hour drive to Mystic Falls.

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Yay, the second chapter is done! Please review and tell me how I did, what I can improve on, etc.

I really do appreciate them:)


	3. Chapter 3

She plugged her phone in to radio as she began her drive and hummed along to the first song that came on. The music distracted her from the pain, distracted her from the thoughts. Song after song came on, and Hope sang along softly to every single one, getting lost in the lyrics and melodies of her favorite artists like Twenty One Pilots, Bon Iver, Taylor Swift, and Pierce the Veil.

Hope arrived at the Gilbert house around two, considering the time difference between her hometown and Mystic Falls. She had slightly enjoyed the two hour drive, her music turned up while the wind rushed through all the open windows and into her face, giving her a small feeling of freedom and peace. Of course, as soon as she pulled up to her cousins' house, she felt the rock in her stomach.

She left her luggage in the car and when she had reached the door, she knocked softly. She steeled herself for a teary-faced Elena, or a red-eyed Jeremy, but she was met with a solemn Matt Donovan. He looked relieved when she opened the door, and she couldn't help but blush when he looked at her. Hope had a very hard time being around boys she wasn't surrounded by all the time. Even though she's known Matt her whole life, she's only hung out with him during summertime. It was hard for her to feel comfortable around him, especially since she thought he was cute and he was dating Elena.

"Oh my God, Hope." His arms swallowed her in a large embrace as she stiffened, then allowed herself to relax into the hug. She smiled slightly to herself and couldn't help but notice just how amazing he smelled. She thought about the fact that she had only ever been hugged by two other boys, that were not her family, in her whole life. _Girls like you don't deserve hugs from boys like Matt, _she thought viciously to herself. She released Matt and stepped inside.

"How are you? I know you were close to, uh, Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert." Her throat tightened and she nodded, squeezing his arm. She looked up the staircase to where she could hear quiet sniffles. She could hear the muffled sobs, and she could see in her mind's eye Elena pressing her hand to her mouth, and she would have a long sleeve t-shirt on, the sleeves stretched down and over her fingers. Hope did the same thing.

"Does she know I'm here?" Hope asked him. He shook his head and gave her a small smile. Hope tried to smile back at him, but she just couldn't bring herself to grin at him, and she could always smile at Matt. Matt had always been the most easy-going of the friends she hung out with during her summer stays here at Mystic Falls, and she never missed a summer, besides last year. Last summer was devoted to Student Council camps, a class trip to DC and partying with her stoner friends.

"She wants me to leave, but I don't think I should." He said.

"Matt, I'll take care of her." He nodded and hugged her one more time before he left. She took the steps slowly, trying to gain the strength she would need to face Elena. She had to be strong from now on. She couldn't have her breakdowns anymore. Her family needed her to be the strength, they needed her to be their rock. She reached Elena's room, where the door was open, and Elena was seated at her window seat, her knees brought up to her chest, and the tears falling gently down her cheeks. Just as Hope had envisioned, Elena was wearing a maroon long sleeve over a dark teal tank top, and yoga pants. Her feet were enveloped in overly fuzzy socks, the same pair that Hope had and used when she was feeling upset.

She had always envied Elena's good looks, ever since they were younger. Elena was slim, but still curvy, with these big beautiful brown eyes and this long straight hair. She was everything Hope wanted to be: beautiful, confident and well-liked. Hope knew that she had her friends, her family, but she had never had a boyfriend, and that was something that she wanted, craved, and felt like she needed. She felt that if one boy, just one boy, took interest in her, then maybe she could start loving herself.

"Ellie." Her voice sounded raw, and tight. Elena's head whipped around and she sobbed at the sight of her cousin standing in her doorway. Elena could always count on Hope to help the pain go away. Hope was always there for her,even if she wasn't there physically. They had nightly talks on the phone, and emailed each other frequently about their writing, TV shows, books, and ideas. The two cousins were as close as sisters, and Elena had been aching for the presence of her, needing Hope to help her through this pain. She watched as she walked right over to Elena and gently took her hand. Elena stood up on wobbly knees and threw her arms around Hope. She sobbed into her sweatshirt as a fresh wave of pain rolled over her. Hope was exactly what her namesake implied: a ray of hope, and Elena clung to her with all her might.

Elena could feel the shaky breaths that rattled through Hope, but she never once heard her sob. Elena wished she had the strength that Hope always had, always portrayed. Elena knew that Hope was extremely self conscious about her image, and the fact that she still hadn't lost the baby fat, but Hope never showed that. Hope always _looked_ confident, _looked_ happy, _looked_ comfortable in her own skin, that it was hard to believe that Hope rarely ever felt that way.

"Hope." Elena whispered. She could feel the sadness fade a little, feel the sharp hole in her chest dull a bit, as Hope rubbed soothing circles on Elena's back, and calmly talked to Elena. Not once did Hope say that everything was going to be okay, not once did she utter the words I'm sorry, and that was what Elena had been hoping for. She heard Hope say that she was here, and that she wasn't going anywhere, and that Elena didn't have to face this alone.

Hope was being supportive without being cliche, and that was why Elena knew that she could maybe, one day, be okay again.


	4. Chapter 4

They were both laying in Elena's bed, hands clutching the other, watching _The Breakfast Club. _The room was filling with sounds of Judd Nelson, Hope's coughs, and Elena's sniffles. The girls had hugged for about five minutes before they had lapsed into their old routine. They watched old movies, talked, and just enjoyed each other's company.

Except this time, neither of them could come up with the giggles that so often accompanied their reunions.

"Hope?" A sleepy-eyed Jenna asked from the door. Her hair was up, and she was wearing an over-sized blue shirt and red checkered flannels. Hope got off the bed and hugged Jenna, giving her the same treatment she gave Elena. No matter who Hope was hugging, they always felt better afterwards.

"I didn't know you were here yet, did you let yourself in?" She let go of Hope, feeling lighter than she had in a couple days, and went to sit on the bed next to Elena.

"No, uh, Matt let me in when he was leaving." Elena's wince did not go unnoticed. Hope watched as Elena squirmed a bit under the covers, probably wringing her hands. Hope offered a small smile, but Elena shook her head. Trouble in paradise.

"Jenna, is Jeremy home?" Hope wanted to see her little cousin just as much as she had wanted to see Elena. Jenna shook her head and a little spark of worry started in Hope's stomach.

"He's not been home." She murmured, her eyes shining once more with unshed tears. Hope slouched as she barreled into Elena's arms once more as Elena broke down. Hope switched her embrace to where Elena was crying into her chest. Jenna let loose a few tears as she watched her nieces, as she considered Hope a niece even though they weren't related.

Hope could feel all of Elena's agony, could feel the hole in her chest like it were her own. She rubbed small circles on her back and hugged her cousin close as she calmed down.

"I can always count on you Hope. It's like you help the pain." Hope kissed her cousin's head and was about to suggest a change in movie when the front door opened and then slammed shut. The smell of pot hit the three of them as Jeremy lumbered up the stairs. Hope's eyes lit up slightly as they always did at that sweet yet acrid smell, but she shut the craving down as Jeremy stood in the doorway, swaying and rubbing his read eyes.

"Hope?' He asked, his voice deeper than the last time she heard it, like he had swallowed a mouthful of marbles. She disentangled herself from Elena and swept Jeremy up into a hug. The younger boy's arms went around his cousin and he wept openly on her shoulder. There was something about Hope that made you want to talk, made you want to spill your darkest secrets. She helped with the pain and the hurt, like she took it away. Every one who had ever known/talked to Hope could attest to this, could agree to the fact that Hope was an extremely good listener.

_If only she would let someone in, to help her with her own demons_, Elena thought sadly as she watched her younger brother break down in her arms. She let her eyes study Hope, how she hid her body under those large hooded sweatshirts and always kept her pretty curly hair up in a claw clip. Elena couldn't help but think that even though Hope was heavier than her, she was still extremely pretty. Elena blushed in shame at herself, upset that she would think about Hope like that. Of course she was beautiful, no matter what her size was, and the more Elena thought about it, she could see that Hope had lost some weight in her face, and that her waist was probably smaller. For the sake of her cousin, Elena hoped that the baby fat would fall off this summer so Hope could be as confident as she presented herself.

"Jeremy, you smell horrible." Hope said warmly, a smile in her voice. Jeremy laughed and nodded before kissing her cheek and leaving the room, not a word spoken to either Jenna or Elena. Hope turned and looked at her family sitting on the bed.

"He is going to have a major case of the munchies. How about I make us some lunch?" They both gave little smiles and nodded in agreement. Hope knew that as long as she kept herself busy with housework, chores, and other things, then she wouldn't have to deal with her own grief. She couldn't, she had to stay strong for her family, for Elena.

She busied herself in the kitchen, pulling out things to make chicken salad sandwiches and homemade chocolate chip cookies. She was in the middle of cutting up the boiled chicken when there came a knock on the door. She wiped her hands on a towel and went to open the door.

"Hope? Oh my gosh!" Caroline shot through the door like a bullet and pulled Hope in for a hug. The girls laughed and embraced, happy to see each other. When she wasn't talking to Elena via phone calls and emails, she was texting and Facebooking with Caroline. Hope understood Caroline like no one else in Mystic Falls, she knew just what to say to make Caroline feel better about any situation, and vise versa. Caroline, under the layer of shallowness, was really caring and compassionate. She understood the sadness that Hope carried with her all the time, because she had the same problem. She was insecure and self-conscious about not being good enough the same way Hope was insecure of her weight. Whenever Hope felt extremely out of place, and particularly down on herself, Caroline always tried to help her and instead of giving her diets and exercise routines that she got from most of her friends, Caroline read magazine after magazine on how to dress for your body type, the roads to self love, and how to come to terms with your body and love it. Caroline was supportive and helpful in ways that Hope could never thank her. Whenever she was done talking to Caroline, she felt better about her self. The girls pulled away from the embrace

"I thought you weren't coming until June? Oh..." Caroline covered her mouth with hand and her eyes watered. She pulled Hope back in for another hug and whispered comforting words in her ear. Hope squeezed her friend before letting her go.

"Elena's upstairs. I was just making lunch, you're welcome to stay." Caroline kissed her cheek and offered to help her once she was done talking to Elena.

Hope went back to the kitchen and cut the rest of the chicken up and added the required dressings and seasonings; she added grapes and almonds when she was sure everything was evenly coated. She put the bowl in the fridge and started on the recipe for her grandma's homemade chocolate cookies. She was stirring the dough up when both Elena and Caroline made their way downstairs.

"You weren't supposed to make too much effort. I was expecting grilled cheeses." Jenna called from after the girls, pulling a still stoned Jeremy. She laughed and set the mixture down to get out a cookie tray. She looked back to see Jeremy sticking his fingers into the cookie batter. She swatted his hand away, a warm smile on her face. She floured the tray before rolling the cookie dough into sixteen balls and placing them into rows on the tray. She popped them into the oven and turned to the four people waiting patiently at the island, all eight eyes on her.

"You're humming, did you know that?" Elena asked. Her eyes were glazed, a look of sorrow in reflected in them. "Dad hums-used to hum while he cooked." Hope felt guilty and watched as Caroline rubbed her shoulder.

"Go sit at the table, all of you. I'll get your plates." Hope murmured softly as she grabbed the loaf of bread and got five plates. She watched them sit down at the dining table and smiled sadly as Elena wiped tears from her cheeks. Hope made five sandwiches and grabbed every chip bag the Gilberts owned. She set the plates in front of everyone and the chips in the middle of the table. She searched the fridge for the pitcher of lemonade that was always made and poured out five glasses. She kissed Jeremy's clean hair as she handed him his glass.

"Thanks mom." He took a drink of the lemonade before digging into his sandwich. Nobody was breathing while they all looked at each other, afraid to even say anything. Jeremy continued to eat as if he didn't just call Hope mom. She shook it off and gave out the other glasses before sitting down to eat her own sandwich. She polished her meal off before the others and smiled when she heard the ding of the oven. She pulled the cookies out of the oven and placed them on a rack to cool. She started on the dishes as a way to escape the awkward silence that fell at the table. She placed the dishes that could fit in the dishwasher in and then washed the pots and pans she had used.

"Hope, I didn't call you to come cook for us. We...we need each other right now, you don't have to worry about this." She turned to look at Jenna the grad student, the woman who had become like an older sister to her in recent years. She pulled her in for a hug and sighed.

"I'm okay with helping out, Aunt Jenna." Hope knew that Jenna liked it when she called her that, it was sort of like a nickname. She pulled away and kissed her cheek.

"I'm here to help."


	5. Chapter 5

It was the morning of the funeral. Hope had spent all of yesterday cleaning the house spotless. She had taken total inventory of the kitchen, writing a list of everything they needed, had swept, mopped, and polished the hardwood in the kitchen, laundry room and living room, dusted, cleaned both bathrooms, and done all the laundry in the house. It had taken her all day and she was gladly exhausted after the four of them had ordered in from the Grill.

"Hope, can you zip up my dress?" Elena asked as she walked into the room. Her dress was black, knee length, with a Peter Pan collar and cap sleeves. The sleeves and the hem of her dress were both trimmed in cream lace. She wore black pantyhose and black pumps, with a long pearl necklace and matching pearl earnings. Hope, as always, felt self conscious in what she was wearing. She wore a very loose, long sleeved, black knee length dress. The dress had a scoop neckline, the skirt had a black lace overlay starting by the natural waist. She wore a white woven belt at her natural waist and also had on black pantyhose. She wore black kitten heals, no makeup, and no jewelry. Elena could see that Hope had indeed lost weight, her waist nipping in more than it used to, her shape more womanly.

"You look nice, Hope." Elena murmured, knowing that Hope would blush and refuse the compliment, which she did exactly that.

"Please, don't be silly. Are you ready?" Hope took one last look in the mirror, grimaced, and ushered Elena out and down the stairs to a waiting Jeremy and Jenna, who was dressed similarly to the girls wearing a black shift dress, a black cardigan, and black pumps. Jeremy wore black slacks, a black button down and a black tie. He was currently trying to untie it and Hope chuckled softly before fixing it for him.

"Thanks Hope." She nodded and the four of them left, a sadness shared between them. They pulled up to the church and all took deep breaths before getting out of the car and heading up the steps, all drawing strength from Hope.

The church was beautiful, with pale pink and white flower arrangements set up all over the altar and next to the caskets. They made their way up to the front pew, trying as hard as they could to keep themselves together. She was sitting down and waiting for every one to sit down for the service to start.

"You look more beautiful each time I see you, Hope." A man said from the end of the pew. She dared not hope as she turned and tears flooded to her eyes as her gaze landed on her father; Jonathon Gilbert.

"Dad." She stood up and hugged him. For everyone that knows Jon Gilbert, they know that he has a nonchalant attitude towards everything but his daughter. He cared for her, deeply, and he believed she was the best thing to ever happen to him. They both knew that their relationship was a little bit unconventional, at best, and that it was hard on them during holidays, but she knew that he meant well...most of the times.

"Hope...we need to talk." He whispered in her ear urgently, but before he could pull her away the service started. They sat together, her hand in his, and listened as the pastor spoke about Miranda and Grayson Gilbert.

The service passed in a blur as Hope sat their, her eyes not quite able to completely focus around the tears that poured down her cheeks. She watched as people from the town council spoke about her aunt and uncle, and while her father spoke, and then while Elena collapsed and was not able to get a word out. She hurried to the podium and wrapped her cousin in a hug. She led her to the pew and held on to her as the service came to a close. Her dad, Jeremy, Matt, Bill Forbes, Mayor and Tyler Lockwood, Logan Fell and another handful of men gathered around the caskets and carried the two out of the church into the hearse. Hope, Elena, and Jenna followed in Jenna's car to the cemetery where the two greatest people she had ever known were laid to rest. They each dumped a handful of dirt on them and walked back to the car without a word to each other, or anybody else.

People began to arrive right after they got home, cars lining the streets up and down as far as the eye can see. Hope laid out appetizer trays all along the table and kitchen counters, setting out bottles of water and napkins along with paper plates and plastic ware.

"Hope." She turned to see Bonnie, Tyler and Matt. She gave Tyler a one armed hug and held Bonnie in a longer embrace. She wasn't very close to her, but they had had their moments in the past. She gave Matt a hug that lasted longer than the one she gave Bonnie, and she couldn't help that her face had come away a little red.

"How are you holding up?" Bonnie asked, her voice laced with sincerity. Hope nodded and couldn't help but notice Matt's hand at her lower back. She stepped away nonchalantly to grab a bottle of water and hand it to Bonnie. Their hands touched and Hope could almost feel the worry Bonnie was feeling.

"Bonnie, we're all going to be fine, please don't worry." Bonnie gave her a small smile and took a sip of the water.

"You always did know how to read me." The girls gave each other warm grins before Tyler and Bonnie went to see how Elena was doing. She was feeling very sad, at that moment. So heartbreakingly sad, and it rolled off of Matt in waves.

"Matt are you okay?" Hope saw the look in his eyes as he shook his head once and led her to the laundry room, the only empty room in the house. He locked the door after it was closed and he took one look at her before the tears fell from his baby blue eyes.

"Elena?" She could only guess. He nodded as she gathered him into her arms and held him while she cried. His tears soaked her shoulder and she wrapped her arms a little tighter around his waist, his arms around her shoulders. He clung to her as he tried to make sense of his swirling emotions. He was confused as to why his heart gave a little flutter when Hope had hugged him, or how he was so aware of the waterfall scent of her shampoo and her fruity/floral perfume. He had always taken notice of Hope, and that she was a little bigger, but he had always thought her beautiful. He was heartbroken over Elena, but he was glad to have this girl to help him over it.

"Hope, I'm glad you're here." He whispered to her as she released him from their embrace. His heavenly cologne was making her a little weak in the knee. She couldn't help but realize just how grown up Matt has become, how tall he was and how wide his shoulders were; his gentle strength just emanated from him, surrounding him in this warm glow.

"I'm glad I'm here too Matt."


	6. Chapter 6

Hope was utterly alone in the Gilbert house, and no matter how loud she turned the volume up on _Doctor Who _she could feel the silence pressing in on her from all sides. She sat helplessly on the couch, tears dripping unwelcome down her face. She watched blindly as Elena walked through the door, her eyes wet.

"Hope?" Elena asked and was surprised to see her cousin burst into sobs. She watched as Hope pulled her legs up and bury her face into her hands; Elena hurried over and tried to take her hands away from her face.

"Hope, please..." Elena begged and was relieved when Hope brought her face up. Her green eyes were illuminated, her pupils dilated, and were darker than Elena had ever seen, it was also the first time she's seen Hope cry in a long time.

"I'm sorry, I just feel so lonely all the time, and with no one here it was..." She sobbed as she threw her head back into her hands. Elena settled herself on the couch and kept her hand on her arm while she sat and joined her. Elena knew how close Hope was with her parents, and seeing her like this kind of made her take a step back and see that she wasn't the only one affected by the tragedy of her parents' death.

"Did you take your medicine this morning? Has your head been hurting you?" Hope asked, making Elena choke out a laugh. She took Hope's hands into hers and smiled as warmly as she could.

"Do you even understand how amazing you are? Do you?" Hope blushed and squirmed slightly, uncomfortable with how the situation turned. Hope had never been good with compliments, but Elena needed her to know this. "You have been such a great help these last few days, I don't even know what we're going to do when you leave tomorrow." Hope cocked her head in confusion as her father walked through the door. It was no secret that Elena and Jenna weren't quite fond of him, but Hope calmed at the sight of her father. She wiped her face and smiled at him.

"Hi Daddy." He smiled at her and walked over to the girls. His heart swelled at the sight of them, together, and he could pinpoint the likenesses between them. He brought one hand up to wipe a loose curl from her face, his palm cupping her cheek. She leaned into him, enjoying this closeness with her father, even with Elena there.

"Are you packed for tomorrow?" He asked her. She shook her head, moving away from him now. A small part of her wondered if her father demanded she go back to her mother, didn't want her to stay her with Jenna, but another part of her hoped he was going to let her go with him to wherever he was always off to.

"I wasn't aware I was leaving tomorrow. Why am I leaving? I was planning on staying until the beginning of July." She got up from the couch, her arms crossing over her chest and her weight resting on her right leg. He couldn't help but think of her mother when she stood like that.

"You're spending the summer with me. I think it's high time we spent some real time together, right?" She was speechless. She had been begging her father to take her with him every summer since she was little, and here he was just whisking her away from her family when they all needed each other the most.

"I'm needed here." She murmured, gesturing to Elena still seated on the couch, her attention trained on the TV, trying to give the two at least some privacy. She turned away from _Doctor Who_ and shook her head, her brow furrowing.

"No, Hope, go with your dad. You need him, we'll be fine." She shook her head, her hair flying. Elena hadn't noticed it was down, and the curls spilled over her shoulders, their gloss catching the afternoon sunshine that slipped through the blinds, giving it a red tint.

"No, I'm staying here. I didn't get to stay last summer, and I'm staying until I'm ready to leave. I'm sorry Dad, but I need them. We need each other." She bit her bottom lip and watched as Jon thought about.

"You have until the second week of June." He walked past the two of them and out the door. Hope sighed and scrubbed at her face as she plopped down next to Elena, who had decided to talk to Hope about the change in her appearance.

"It looks like you've lost weight, Hope." Hope beamed at Elena, satisfied that someone has seen the changes she's been trying to make. She ran three times a week at home, her schedule too busy to fit anything else in. The results have been slow, and people hadn't really said anything to her about her change, but here was Elena pointing it out.

"Thanks, I've been trying new things."

"You look good, it's working." They smiled at each other and jumped a little when their was a knock on the door. People were still dropping by to give their condolences and neither of them really wanted to deal with it at the moment. The knocking continued and Hope sighed as she pushed herself off the couch to open the door.

"Matt?"

"Hey, are you busy?" He was a little breathless, having ran from his house. She leaned against the door, contemplating on what to tell him. She looked back at Elena who waved her hand at her, then turning back to the TV and turning it up.

"I guess not, what's up?" Her heart gave a tiny squeeze when he smiled at her, his blue eyes lighting up. He was still broken up over Elena ending things, but he wanted to hang out with her. He needed a friend that could listen and Tyler wasn't the most understanding soul to reach out to. Hope was his next best choice.

"Do you want to hang out?" She nodded slowly and slipped on a pair of Toms before yelling to Elena she would be back later. She was wearing an emerald green tunic top, black leggings and a cream pair of lace Toms. Her cross body bag was a dark brown suede, decorated with tassels and zippers. She smelled like citrus and flowers and Matt noticed how her hair rippled with browns, reds and blonds in the sunlight as they walked to the car.

"I'll drive?" He shrugged and got in the passenger seat of her red Explorer. It smelled of man's cologne, grass and flowers, the scent different from her floral scent.

"Sorry, Mom's husband is a landscaper, he uses the truck to haul around his stuff." She apologized as she threw the car into reverse and backed out. They drove for a bit, and were at Mystic Falls' main intersection when she turned to him.

"What do you want to do?"

"Do you have a lot of gas?"

"More than half a tank..."

"How about a drive?" He asked sheepishly. She smiled and followed the roads that led out of Mystic Falls. She knew of a town about forty five minutes away from Mystic Falls that had a Grease themed diner.

"Okay, here's the plan. About an hour away, there is this amazing diner, _Grease_ themed, and it sells the best freaking milkshake you will ever have. I swear to you, your life will be changed. We get our drive, we get food, and we get time for you to tell me how you're dealing." She smiled softly at him while simultaneously pulling a pair of aviator shades out of her middle compartment. She tossed him a pair of black Ray Ban's and plugged her phone into the radio.

"You don't listen to the radio?" He asked.

"No, I have way better taste in music." She quipped as she rolled the windows down and turned the radio up.

* * *

Okay, this is her and Matt's first time hanging out together, and I hope you guys enjoy what I have planned for them:) It' s friendship at its finest and Hope is relaxing around him.

Thanks to the six sweeties who have reviewed on my story:) You guys are absolutely fantastic and deserve like six puppies:)

Please leave reviews and tell me how I'm doing and what I need to work on realistic wise and such things like that:)

Love you!


	7. Chapter 7

"I forgot half of these songs existed." Matt said as they pulled up to the tiny diner. Hope laughed as she parked and shut the car off, leading Matt into the only restaurant she had ever been with her dad, back when she was ten.

Walking in was like walking back in time, the girl's wearing Pink Ladies jackets, their hair coiffed into curls that just dust their shoulders, and black circle skirts that hit at their calves. The men wore tight black shirts, black jeans, and motorcycle T-bird jackets, their hair gelled back. There was a jukebox in the corner, sputtering out some Elvis song, and pink and green plastic covered booths lining the three walls of the diner, a serving counter facing the opposite wall and into the kitchen where a cook was flipping burgers. All around the room were pictures from the movie _Grease_, and there were even life sized cutouts of Danny and Sandy standing in the back corner next to the Jukebox. Hope dragged Matt over to them and forced him to take a picture with them, much like she had begged her dad to take a picture of her in front of the cutouts. She stood between the two cutouts and struck a pose. Matt laughed as he took the picture, his heart happy to see her enjoying herself. The last week has been hard on her, staying in the house alone while her cousins were away at school. He knew that she was busying herself with all the housework and cooking, really becoming a surrogate mother to the Gilbert kids. A woman in her fifties waited patiently behind Matt and then ushered them into a booth at the back and placed menu's in front of them.

"Can I get you some drinks while you figure out what you would like to eat, darlings?" She asked, her voice sweet. Hope thought for a second and ordered for them: one chocolate and Coke milkshake for Matt and a cherry vanilla one for herself. She smiled after the waitress and looked back at Matt.

"Sorry, I just remembered chocolate was your favorite ice cream flavor and their chocolate Coke milkshake is amazing. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted." She felt foolish now, and reprimanded herself for ordering for him. He beamed at her.

"No, that's fine. I trust you, Hope." She smiled, relieved, and they scanned the menu and both settled on old fashioned hamburgers and fresh cut french fries. The waitress brought them their shakes and took their order. When she left Matt took a long slurp of his shake and closed his eyes, throwing his head back.

"Oh my God!" A few people turned around to look at him causing Hope to erupt in laughter. She hid her face behind her hand while she watched Matt squirm and look down at the table, a smile creeping its way onto his face.

"It's good isn't it?" Hope tried to fight the giggles working their way out of her throat, but it felt so good to laugh that she didn't want to fight them. She wanted her laughter to swallow her whole and take over. She wanted to laugh forever and never stop, giggle after giggle erupting from her mouth. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her smile never leaving her face.

"It's good to see you smile, Hope, and to hear you laugh." Matt said, his eyes on her flushed face. She pressed a hand to her cheek and looked out the window, not being able to bring herself to meet his gaze. She rummaged a hand through her curls and flipped them away from her face.

"Thanks, I guess. It feels good to laugh." She smiled softly at him and then took a sip of her own shake. Her eyes closed and she smiled as she took another drink.

"This is good. My dad got this when we came here about five years ago. This was the only place we ever went, just the two of us." She said quietly, her mind surfing through the very few memories she had with her dad. Matt felt guilty being here with her, this place was supposed to be special, but on the other hand, he felt pretty honored she would bring him to a place she shared with her dad.

"You've never spent a lot of time with you're dad, have you?" He asked. She shook her head and gave a little shrug. He knew how that felt, his own dad had run out of them when he was just six years old. If Matt remembered Elena correctly, Jon had only stuck around for a year or two before he left Hope's mom and only started seeing her again when she was ten.

"My dad ran out on us when I was six, just left with no explanation. My mom...I guess she's on the same track." He said as he reached across the table and squeezed her hand softly to show his support.

"Me and my dad have a very different relationship. We don't see a lot of each other, and when we do it's only for a short amount of time, but we talk on the phone often, and I know he loves me. He just has a hard, and odd, way of showing that. I have Jeff at home, he's great, and I have...had Grayson. Grayson was the first dad I ever remember knowing and when Jon left my mom I guess Grayson came and stayed with us for a few weeks. He's always been there, for whatever I needed. He's the one who taught me how to ride a bike, how to drive, how to chase after I want. I just can't believe he's gone." Her lower lip trembled and her hands began to shake. Matt got up and rounded the booth and sat next to her, his arm slung around her shoulders. He held her close as she pulled herself together. She took deep breaths while she clenched and unclenched her fists, drawing strength from the support Matt was showing. She pulled away from Matt slightly and wiped at her eyes.

"Matt, you're precious." She laughed and moved over so he was more comfortable. They were chatting about her plans for applying to colleges when their food came.

"Oh my God, these look amazing." Matt said as he squirted some ketchup on his fries.

"What are you doing!?" Hope asked. Matt shrugged as he picked up one of the ketchup drenched fries.

"What?'

"You did that wrong! You're supposed to designate a corner of your plate to dip your fries in, not drown them in ketchup." She teased, laughing along with Matt.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that you were the french fry police."

"Yes, I'm the Sheriff."

"Well my bad officer." He said before he took a bite of his burger. She smiled and did the same. They didn't speak for a while as they finished their burgers in silence. She watched Matt finish off his shake as she pushed her plate away.

"So, what did you think? Change your life?' She asked as the glass emptied. He nodded his head in agreement and pulled out his wallet. She grabbed her purse and he put his hand over hers.

"I got it." She protested, to which he acted like he couldn't hear her. The waitress came with the check and he followed her. Hope threw a few dollar bills on the table and watched with a small smile on her face as he paid their bill. He held the door open for her and they walked back to the car in happy silence.

"Pick a year." She asked as they got in the car, her in the passenger seat and Matt driving.

"What?" He threw the car in reverse and backed them out of the spot and drove out of the parking lot. Hope rolled her window down and let her hand hang out.

"Pick a year, it's a simple question Matt."

"2005." She grinned and tapped a few times on her phone before the car was filled with the opening riffs of the Killers' _Mr Brightside_.

"Oh my God, I love this song." He turned up the radio as they both sang along.

_Jealousy, turning snakes into the sea_

_Twirling her sick lullabies_

_Choking on your alibis _

_But it's just the price I pay_

_Destiny is call me_

_Open up my eager eyes_

_I'm Mr. Brightside_

That's how the whole car ride went. Matt throwing out years and Hope picking her favorites, or songs she knew Matt liked. They both sang at the top of their lungs and smiled the whole way home.

"_Ocean Avenue_ by Yellowcard." They were just now passing through Grove Hill and would be home to Mystic Falls in a little under fifteen minutes. She nodded and they both serenaded each other, the wind blowing in their faces, and their heartaches pushed to the backs of their minds. Matt loved the way she made him feel, like everything was going to be okay. Every minute he spent with her, he felt like his old self again, not the boy dumped by Elena. If she was helping him forget the hurt just by being his friend, he wondered...

"I'm in the mood for some country." She stated out of the blue. Soon, he heard the twang of a guitar, the voice of Blake Shelton, and the first words of _Mine Would Be You_. The pair of them sat in silence as they let the words soak into their brains, the song too well written for them to act silly or sing off key. Hope mouthed everyword, her eyes closed and head leaning back against the seat. She felt very warm sitting there in the car with Matt, the afternoon sun shining softly on her face.

She felt safe for the first time in a while, and felt like it would be the last time in a long time.

* * *

Ahh the feels! I just ship Hope and Matt so much its unreal! god they're so perfect for each other! I hope you enjoyed the Hope/Matt interaction because these next couple chapters...

Please review God they mean so much to me:)


	8. Chapter 8

They had pulled up to the Gilberts' house, sated from the delicious meal and the amount of fun the two could always muster up between them. Matt smiled at Hope, who was stroking a small picture in her hands. Matt peeked over her shoulder and saw that it was one of her and her dad, the two posing in front of the Danny and Sandy cutouts at the diner they had just returned from. Hope looked up quickly and gave him a small grin. She was folding the picture back up when she noticed the figure standing on the porch. She threw open her door and called out his name.

"Marcus?" The tall boy swirled around and beamed at her. Her heart leaped up into her throat as she scurried to his waiting embrace. She folded herself into her arms and felt so at home that it almost brought her to tears.

"God I've missed you so much." He whispered to her as one hand held her head close to his chest and the other wrapped around her. She hugged him close, remembering all the great things about the boy in her arms, and the immense feelings she had for him. Any little flutter that Matt had given her that afternoon melted away and she was so engrossed with the fact that she was holding Marcus she reached up on her toes and kissed his cheek, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"I've missed you too." She smiled and released him. He kept his arm slung over her shoulders as she turned to introduce him to Matt, but found that he was already walking down the street. She frowned for a second before she shook it off and turned back to Marcus.

"What brings you here? I mean, school isn't over yet at home and I know that you have Sectionals for baseball soon...why are you here?" She led him to the porch swing and they sat down, his arm still on her shoulders. She leaned into him and smiled softly to herself. This is what she missed most about home, the way her friends just made her feel so wanted sometimes.

"I needed to see you. We were worried about you." She wondered who was worried about her, seeing as neither Jon nor Diana had called or texted her. The only people that had been checking in with her from home were her mom and him. She felt hurt that Diana had not called or texted, but a small part of her was happy she didn't; she felt that this made Marcus's visit more special somehow.

"I'm...okay. I'm dealing, and I'm helping Elena and Jeremy deal. Elena is still shaken from the accident, and extremely prone to random breakdowns. Jeremy on the other hand... he only cries at night, before he goes to sleep. He's diving into weed and alcohol, but I think he needs to find his own way, which is why no one is trying to worm him away from them. We've all picked things that are keeping us going. Jeremy has his drugs and Elena has her writing." The boy sitting next to her looked down and whispered to her.

"What's been keeping you going?" His breath tickled her ear, and she felt her cheeks warming. She shifted and looked at him, in those deep brown eyes, and gathered her courage.

"You." She whispered back.

She doesn't know who initiated the kiss, but she feels his soft lips on hers in the next moment and internally sighs as his hand cups her face. She leans into him and smiles a bit, causing him to do the same. He pulls back and kisses her forehead and brings her in for a hug.

"Does this mean you're my girlfriend now?" Sh laughed and pulled backed, smiling softly at the blush that was appearing on his cheeks. She nodded and he leaned down to kiss her again. She was so full right now of the warm glow that she felt when he smiled at her. She was giddy and couldn't help but laugh as she snuggled into his arms. He kissed the top of her head.

"It's nice to hear your laugh again." He said softly, twirling a curly lock between his thumb and first finger. He tugged it playfully then let it fall from his grasp. She couldn't help the tears that welled up in her eyes at his statement. She buried her head into Marcus's chest and grasped his grey t-shirt in her hand, trying to hold in her sobs. He wrapped both of his arms around her shoulders and held her to his chest as she cried. He squeezed her tighter as her cries grew harder and he kissed her hair. He felt so much sadness for her, for the way she felt so much all at one time. He'd only known her for a year, but he knew her well. He knew how much she felt on a daily basis, and that was the basis of her kindness and compassion. She was the greatest strength for anyone and she always knew how to help someone, and people forgot that she needed help too. He knew about the depression and anxiety, had held conversations about them with her into the wee hours of the night when she had drunk just a little too much of her step-dad's whiskey or smoked just a little too much weed: when she had enough substances in her system to talk about the things that weighed her down.

She pulled away abruptly and wiped her face. Her sea glass eyes were rimmed in red and her rosy cheeks were tear-stained. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her lightly on the lips. Her stomach dropped at the gentleness he used with her, how he softly ran his fingers over her cheekbones and sat there staring at her, memorizing every inch of her face.

"How come I've never realized just how breathtakingly beautiful you were?" He whispered, more to himself than to her, but she heard it. She didn't have much experience with boys romantically (a few boys in back rooms at stoner parties where she had never gone all the way didn't count-those were purely physical) but no one had ever called her beautiful. The only one to ever use that word was her own mother, but never a boy. She wanted to cry for a whole different reason right then and there. She tried to speak but she found that she couldn't, she was too overwhelmed with the emotions boiling under her skin. The amount of feelings she possessed always had blown her away with their force and negative affects. Feeling so much always took so much out of her, and their were days when she would just sit in sadness and grief, never able to quite pinpoint why she felt that way.

"I have to go, but I'll call you." He said abruptly, and kissed her hard before he left. She watched as he pulled out of the driveway and down the street. She sighed and wiped her face, the small smile growing there a small indication that things were finally going to get better.

Hopefully.

* * *

OHMYGOD MARCUS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? MATT WAS WOOING HER!?

That Marcus, slippery as he is sweet.

So Hope and Marcus are a thing now (Marpe or Hocus for ship name?) but this is a Matt X O.C?

Please review and tell me what you think please!


	9. Chapter 9

"Dad, please don't do this." Hope had her arms crossed firmly over her chest as she watched her dad lug her suitcase down the stairs. Her, Elena, Matt, and Jenna stood in the kitchen, all wearing sour expressions, both Elena and Hope fighting back tears. The two had spent the morning remembering how to laugh and baking. Now, they were standing close to each other, afraid to be too far away. Matt watched the clenching in Hope's jaw and wondered if she'd be going off to college the next time he saw her. His heart was heavy at the thought.

"I'm sorry, Hope, but we need to leave. Now." Jon threw her purse at her, but she refused to catch it, letting it fall to the floor.

"No, I'm not leaving. Not until June." It had only been two weeks since Marcus's visit and she refused to leave before she felt like she needed to. She couldn't leave, everything was just now starting to feel normal again. She could still feel the absence of her aunt and uncle but the unbearable pain was no longer...unbearable. Sure, she could still hear Elena crying herself to sleep but the girl had returned to smiling often, and the big reason was Hope. Elena feared she would return to a zombie like trance if Hope left, and so she clung onto her hand. Hope straightened up, the contact with Elena fueling her need to be here. She would always protect Elena. The jumped out at her, and she was a little taken aback by it.

_Where had that come from?_ She thought to herself. She focused back on her dad and raised her chin slightly, daring him to challenge her. Never had she acted towards him this way, had always done exactly what he wanted, hungry and yearning for his affection and approval. His eyes darkened and he strode forward and grabbed her by the arm.

"Say your goodbyes and get in the car. We leave in five minutes." His voice was hard and his grip even harder. She bit her lip and yanked away from him. She stumbled back and into Matt's chest, who had surged forward the moment Jon had grabbed his daughter.

"Come on Jon, don't be a douche." He said as he steadied Hope. She stared back at her dad, as did everyone else, until he shook his head and walked out to the car, slamming the door on his way. Hope immediately turned to her aunt.

"Jenna, isn't there any way you can persuade him to let me stay for a little bit longer?" She had clasped her hands together and begged. Jenna shook her head sadly and gathered the girl into her arms. Hope hugged her back, deflated, knowing that there was no use. She kissed Jenna's cheek and released, only to be grabbed in an embrace by Matt, who held her close and burying his face in her neck. She would never get used to the smell that always clung to Matt. Mint and cherries, and she knew that it would forever be her favorite scent. He kissed her on the forehead and reluctantly let go, feeling as if the next time they saw each other they would both be very different people.

They could almost not meet each other's eyes, the both of them wanting to stay strong for each other, but as soon as Hope left Matt's arms she was sobbing in Elena's. She could not understand why she felt as if everything would change, why she would no longer be as close with Elena and that she would not see her cousin in a long time. They clung to each other as if for dear life, and neither could help the tears that fell relentlessly down their faces.

"Please stay in touch, for the love of God, just stay in touch." She begged. Elena nodded and they kissed each other's cheek. She let go and looked to see Matt holding her purse and her bag by the door. She took them and kissed Matt on the cheek before leaving the house. She threw her stuff into the back of her dad's car and settled down in the passenger seat. She remembered how furious she had been when she had found out her Dad had had Jeff's car take back to her mother, the absolute screaming match that had gone down. She winced at the memory, hating how she had let her emotions get the best of her, how out of control she had felt. She had always hated being loud, and someone getting loud with her, but it had felt all to good to scream and rage at her father when she had found out what he had done.

"I know you're pissed off at me, but you needed to leave. They're are things you are unaware about, and its high time that your mother and I tell you. Buckle up, it's a long ride home."

_Home, with Mom and Jeff._ She would be able to throw her little brother up on her shoulders and take Katy to the mall. Somehow, all those things sounded like a dream, like she had never really done them. It felt like her real life was in Mystic Falls, with Elena and Matt and Caroline who had been so busy with things at school that they had only hung out together twice while she had been there and couldn't even make it to say goodbye. She closed her eyes and let her father's words sink in.

Things she didn't know, things she needed to know, he had said. What had they been hiding all these years? What could be so important that she needed to leave her family when they needed each other the most?

She shook her head and stuck her headphones in, making sure to turn the volume up as loud as it could go so she didn't have to hear her father's attempts at conversation. She leaned her head back against the seat, the soft guitar notes vibrating in her ears as Ed Sheeran sang the first words of _I See Fire. __  
_

A headphone was plucked from her ear and she opened one eye to see her brother Thomas grinning up at her. She closed the eye and snored loudly, smiling slightly at the laugh that escaped him. She undid her seat belt and scooped him up in her arms as she closed the door to the car, her eyes landing directly on her mother and father talking in hushed tones by the door. She hoisted her brother onto her hip and approached them, her ears straining to catch a snippet of their conversation. Her mother took a deep breath to steady herself and turned her gaze, a smile lighting up her beautiful face.

"Linnet!" She bounded down the stairs and Hope had just enough time to let Thomas slide from her arms before her mother barreled into her. She wound her arms around her mother's middle and sighed, her eyes prickling at the realization of how much she had missed her. The two pulled away and Hope noticed the melancholy in her mother's hazel eyes.

It was in that moment, that Hope knew that everything was going to change.

* * *

I'M SO SORRY THAT I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG, SCHOOL IS A PAIN IN THE ASS.

But I am here, and I have gifted you with another chapter, I hope you like it!

Please review, I love to know what if I'm doing right or wrong!:)

Love you all!


	10. Chapter 10

She laughed, she didn't know what else to do. She leaned back against the couch and tried to smother the mirthless laughter erupting from her throat. It died down once she saw the seriousness of her father's face and the tears in her mother's eyes.

She shook her head, _It's just too crazy. A necromancer?_

"You've got to be joking, right? A necromancer...you're telling me I'm a necromancer, one of the most powerful ones in a century. I don't even know what that is! And then, you want to spur this prophecy thing on me?"She sneered at the cup of tea her mother had set in front of her, refusing to even look at the two of them any more.

"Hope Linnet, do not take that tone with me. I've tried to protect you from this, to keep this from you, but I know it was wrong. I should have taught you, should have helped you. Now, you're unprepared and unarmed, how can I expect you to protect yourself?" Hope felt the sting of guilt in her heart and she resented it. She crossed her arms, trying to keep herself from falling apart.

"Hope, you've always felt like you had too many emotions to handle, right? Always felt like you could feel the pain and worries of other people? That's what a necromancer feels. Necromancy makes you feel more than others, makes you susceptible to the feelings of those around you because you are so close to those on the Other Side. You are much more in tuned to the other side than the others so its almost as if these feelings are throwing themselves at you-"

"What is going on inside that head of yours Dad? I can't...you honestly can't think I believe this crap do you?" She could almost feel the waves of frustration rolling of her father. Or maybe, she was actually feeling them.

_Maybe... No, no, this is just too insane._

"The reason you've been fighting depression is because of this ability, Hope. You have to start managing it or you can end up lashing out, hurting those around you, or even killing yourself." He was curt, business like. He had never used that tone with her, and it hurt her more than when he had grabbed her earlier at Elena's. Then she finally registered what he had said.

"Killing myself?" Her voice was shaky, and all of a sudden she could remember the deep pits that she had always had to crawl out of, the smallest things that had set her off into dark nights of contemplating the reality of how much she had wanted to die. How it was like whispers in the night just begging her to join the land of the dead.

_Maybe those voices weren't just metaphor. _The thought made her skin crawl as she tried to suppress the shudders. The last three years she has grappled and wrestled with it, the depression, the suicidal thoughts, all of it. She had never thought it could be because of others' pain, not her own. The self-loathing, contempt and hatred she had harbored these last few years...was there the possibility it had never been her own?

A whole new world of opportunity opened up for her, and for the first time in a long time, she felt like she had a fighting chance at survival.

"Necromancers are very susceptible to depression, and most of them go dark, consumed by the darkness they unknowingly seep up from the people around them and the darkness of the other side. Has anyone ever told you it was like you took the pain away? That just by listening to them they had felt better?" She nodded. "You _were_ taking the pain away, Hope. It was their pain, their sorrow, their grief you have been carrying around with you, and then the other side was drawn to you, making it all the more worse. If you don't accept this, accept the help I'm trying to offer you, that darkness will consume you. We can't lose you like that, Hope. I can't." Her father was begging her now, the pleading tone almost too much for her to handle. She could believe what they were telling her, could go along with her parents' crazy idea, and maybe, possibly, finally become mentally stable. Or she could not believe her dad, totally ignore everything he has said, and end up killing herself.

She sighed and made her decision.

"Fine, how can I get this under control?" He visibly relaxed, his shoulders caving in and his eyes closing. He opened them and fixed her with a look of determination, those clear blue eyes she so desperately wished she would have inherited, hard as sapphires.

"You train, mentally and physically. There is so much you need to learn." She cocked an eyebrow and motioned for him to continue. He nodded, standing up to pace while he explained everything to her.

"First, necromancers are witches who have the ability to use the power of the earth, but can also see into the Other Side, can talk to the dead. A really powerful one can raise the dead. Usually it takes dark magic to do this, and so it has become that witches view necromancers as dark magic users, which is untrue. Necromancers, just like witches, can be good or bad. It's a choice. The last hundred years, there's been rumors of a necromancer who will be so powerful, she will upset the balance between this world and the Other Side. Necromancers have been showing up slaughtered all over the country, killed by jealous and scared witches who are afraid of the spirits and what the consequences will be. I've found one necromancer, a couple states away, who has agreed to help me. He's stayed well hidden for years and was unwilling at first, but necromancers look after their own. The witches are angry though, and are calling to the help of other supernatural beings."

"Other supernatural beings?" He nodded, and she fell back against the couch, flabbergasted and a little amused that she had not seen that coming. So far, he had her enraptured. _Witches? Maybe even vampires and werewolves?_ She laughed at herself and the absurdity of her thoughts, but then, she was supposed to be the most powerful necromancer born in a hundred years.

"Eighteen years ago, a prophecy was made by a witch named Rhea, one of the oldest and most powerful witches alive to date. This prophecy spoke of a child who was so powerful in both realms of magic, that she could be used for the greatest of goods, or the worst of evils. Both races have been scouring the earth, looking for a child with magical roots that go further than just the necromancers and witches. When we had you a year after the prophecy was made, your mother instantly told me of your history, and I instantly knew that they would becoming after you. It was why I left, to find answers. By the time I had found them, you're mother and I had grown too far apart, and I just couldn't handle staying around when she had already found someone else. I shouldn't have stayed out of your life for so long, that was my mistake." Hope was taken aback by the confession, and apology from her father. She never expected it.

She knew now that if he ever abandoned her again, she knew it would completely destroy her, forget the darkness that came with being an empath.

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Here's another story for you guys! Please review it really helps me feel like people are reading my story!

So who saw that coming? I have so much planned in the next few chapters, I'm so excited for the character growth coming up for Hope and the changes she will be going through!

Please remember to review!


	11. Chapter 11

"Hope, please call me."

"It's been a month, Hope I have to see you."

"Hope, what did I do? Please call me."

"Hey, are you busy? Please, Hope, I can't handle-"

She erased the message before she could hear the rest of it. Between the two of them, Matt and Marcus have blown up her phone and left twenty messages each. She couldn't bring herself to talk to the either of them, everything about herself having changed; even if she wanted to contact them, her father wouldn't let her. It was a miracle he was letting her keep her phone. She looked out the window of the small cottage of the necromancer, Lucas, and remembered the day her father explained everything to her. They had been with Lucas a month, after she had told her friends goodbye. She would not return to high school in her hometown, and she doubted she would ever return to her hometown period. She remembered leaving her friends.

_Marcus hugged her from behind, his chin resting on her head. She whimpered so quietly she knew he couldn't of heard but she was still afraid to let anyone know she was so upset. Her father had ordered her to say goodbye to her friends, that her life was now too dangerous to keep them. It was selfish, but she didn't care. She didn't want to lose the last few people that tied her to the person she was leaving behind, to the life she was leaving behind._

_"It is so great to see you, I've missed you so much." He murmured in her ear as they watched Diana and Jon throw crackers into the lake and screech with laughter and run when the geese went after them. She smiled despite her heavy heart, and turned into him._

_"I have to leave again." She whispered into his chest, her cheek resting comfortably over his heartbeat. His arms around her tightened and she felt the rumble of protest in his chest._

_"No, you can't. We were supposed to spend all summer together, we have all these plans! You can't leave." He pulled away and took a couple steps away from her. She could hear her heart breaking and she sobbed as he turned around and kissed her roughly. She held on to him for dear life, clutching him close and wrapping herself around him. He gathered her in his arms, his lips and hands trembling against her. These onslaught of feelings took him by surprise, but he should have seen it coming._

_She broke away, unable to handle everything going on between the two of them. She jogged to her car, tears dripping off her cheeks as she pulled away from her best friends, her eyes glued to the street in front of her, trying to fight the image of Marcus standing there watching her drive away. She sobbed and sobbed the whole way home, laying in her room with the door locked, waiting for her father to come retrieve her and carry her away to a new life._

"Training in five, yeah?" She turned at the sound of Lucas's voice, her hand darting to dash the tears away from her cheeks. She nodded and found it a little hard to look at Lucas. He reminded her too much of Marcus, with his height and bright, warm brown eyes. She sighed and laced her boots up tight, tying her hair up into a bun on top of her head. The two trained six hours a day, breaking them down into two hour sessions after every meal. She was mentally and physically exhausted. He trained her mind, her body, and her magic. He was teaching her to stay in control. She jogged out back, and caught up with Lucas as they walked to the clearing a hundred yards away from the house.

"The spirits know of you now, are aware of your powers. They will do anything to get to you, there is nothing stopping them from killing you or forcing you to help them. As a necromancer, you're emotions and your magic will be heightened, more so than a regular witch. You must, at all times, be aware of everything around you, the very thoughts running through your mind. You've already learned how to throw up your walls, and protect your mind from the emotions of others, but how well will you fare from the voices of the dead?" They stood twenty feet away from each other, and Hope tried not to peer out into the woods around her, wondering if she would see the spirits pop up from behind the trees. He began to murmur the incantation used to bring a necromancer close to the veil, withing hearing distance, so to speak.

She began to hear whispers in the corners of her mind, feel the words ghost over her senses. Her eyes fluttered shut, as she tried to imagine the steel wall raising up high as the sky around her. The voices got louder. She panicked, and tried not to scream when they rose in volume, their voices piercing her mind.

She screamed and fell to her knees, her hands coming up to cover her ears, knowing it wouldn't help but desperate for them to stop. The voices were now at an unbearable volume, the words jumbled together and incoherent. They died down, and soon she took her hands away from her ears and opened her eyes. She looked up at Lucas through tears she hadn't been aware of and sniffled. That was her first encounter with the spirits, well the first time she had known it was the spirits in her head.

"I'll give you a minute, but you have to try harder. I can't keep them at bay like that and let you fail. They'll come for you, witches and spirits alike, and you need to be prepared." Hope looked down at her hands and noticed that they were spotted with blood. She brought a trembling hand up and felt the sticky substance trickle down her neck. It was a thin stream, a tiny amount, but it was enough to give her her strength back. She looked back up at Lucas and nodded, picking herself up from the ground.

"Again." He nodded. And so again and again she tried, high steel walls encasing her mind, but every time she fell to her knees, her strength leaving her as she still could not force the voices back. Lucas was frustrated now, and exhausted as much as her.

"We're done for now. Meet back here after dinner for physical training. Go." She nodded and brushed the grass from her knees before leaving feeling more defeated than ever. She washed the blood from the sides of her neck and studied herself in the mirror. She was on an all natural, organic diet and trained hard, physically, three hours a day. She ran most of the times, the paths in the woods serving as her mile markers, strength training, as well as cross-fit, kickboxing, and martial arts. She was covered in bruises and hadn't gone a day without being stiff and so sore she sometimes couldn't breathe, but she pushed through. For every ounce of pain and soreness, she could feel herself getting stronger. She woke up a new person every day, could see it in herself.

She had only been with him for a month. Her mind wandered back to earlier in the clearing, and how she had failed to push the voices back. Up until now, she had excelled in the areas of her magic. They worked through her insecurities and demons every morning after breakfast. They were breaking down her walls and would then build them up stronger, higher. She had begun to forget what it was like to wake up and want to die, she had not felt that longing in a long time. Her first session with Lucas was always about her mental health, coping mechanisms, and bonding. Lucas has had her meditating in her free time, promoting that finding "her zen" would aid in fighting off the voices. She had found that zen, had been able to keep out Lucas's feelings and her father's (sometimes both of them at the same time), but it was a whole different story with the spirits. They pushed so hard, anxious and scared and angry. She shivered and turned the light off in the bathroom, a grim determination in her chest. She was just catching him in the end of the clearing when she demanded they go at it again.

"Just once more, this time I know I can get it." Lucas raised an eyebrow, but then smiled at her. He had become fond of her, had spent many hours with her and found she was the kindest person he had ever met, stubborn, but sweet, bright and determined. She had a gift at making people laugh, her own smile as infectious as the atmosphere surrounding her. It would be hard to not like her, he had often thought as he watched her train. He was proud of the progress she was making, and stumped at how she had not been able to succeed today.

"Once more, I'm tired and I'm thinking about going out to dinner tonight." She smiled, happy about the news, and stood her ground. He closed his eyes and began the incantation once more.

She was ready this time, had her shields on the way up before the voices even reached her. They knocked tentatively on the steel, curious at the blockade. Soon, they were pounding and pounding, but the voices could not reach her. She smiled, but not dare open her eyes as she threw them even higher now, and soon the pounding was just soft thuds, and then...nothing.

"Great job, kiddo!" Lucas cheered as he felt the spirits retreat. She opened her eyes and whooped and hollered, jumping in the air and wrapping her arms around herself. She bounded over to him and they embraced. She was proud of herself, was confident more now in her abilities.

She knew though, that this was just an inkling of what she had coming for her, and that the path to reach her full potential was a long and maybe treacherous one, but for now, she would enjoy this small victory.

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I hope you enjoyed this chapter:) I'm going to try to get at least one chapter a week out, now that my college search is over:)

I'll be attending Manchester University in Indiana next fall! I'm so excited and I thought I would share this tidbit of news with you guys, even though you guys don't care!

Oh, I have a thought.

Matt/ O.C/ Klaus love triangle?

Thoughts?

Help a sister out and review!:)


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